NICK the Flying Brick entered the counting hall at the Newark by-election to a hearty roar from his supporters on Thursday night.
He reinforced his policies of adding piranhas to the River Trent and turning Newark Castle into an extra-terrestrial portal.
He said: "I want to beat the Elvis Bus-pass Party and I'm confident.
"The people of Newark have taken to my policy of putting piranhas in the Trent to make fishing more of a spectator sport. I'm sure I have the support of the local angling community.
"I'm a complete and utter nutter and if I get in I'll run up to Newark every Saturday and cover myself in blue woad and be Newark Town Football Club's new mascot.
"One day I'll get in."
